Accidentally on Purpose Page 11

  Chapter Twenty

  Luke caressed my bare leg lazily. We were relaxing in his bed, reading. He was reading a paperback and I was reading on my Kindle, but Luke had put his book down, turning his attention on me. I was wearing a pair of boy shorts and a tee shirt, my standard sleeping gear in warm weather.

  I liked sleeping at Luke's. I could get completely comfortable without any concerns of another woman walking in and wondering why I was there or why I was in bed with her boyfriend. It had become like a second home, which was really important since my parents' return from Louisiana. If I felt like punching my mom I could just go to Luke's. I had clothes there, a toothbrush, deodorant and other necessities.

  "I love hairy legs on my woman," Luke said, still caressing my leg. "I love getting my fingers all tangled in your long, coarse leg hair."

  "Stop!" I smacked him with his book. "I just haven't felt like shaving."

  "At least your legs will be warm and protected when it rains."

  I gave him the most evil stare I could muster and then went back to my book.

  "How is your book?" He asked, resting his head on my lap.

  I ran a hand through his light hair and sighed a happy sigh.

  "Amanda Hocking is my hero," I said about the author I recently discovered after Luke gave me the kindle as a gift. "I want to have her babies." I said dreamily.

  "Well, that sure ruins my plans."

  "What plans?" I put the kindle on the table next to the bed.

  "I was hoping maybe you would want to someday have my babies." When I looked surprised, he said "I didn't mean like tomorrow or next year, but someday."

  I stared at him and shifted uncomfortably. He sat up and looked at me, but I couldn't meet his eyes.

  "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you felt so differently than I do..." He looked so deflated and I instantly felt bad.

  "Oh, no. It's not that," I turned to look at him. I couldn't tell him the main reason I reacted that way, but I could tell him something else that was true. "I'm just not sure that I would be a good mother..."

  "What? You would be an excellent mother. You're nurturing, caring, and responsible."

  I winced at "responsible." My actions over the past several months were not responsible. To cover my reaction, I smiled and said "You know I drink way too much."

  "You don't drink and drive, you don't drink at work, and you know your limit. I've never seen you out of control. Besides, I haven't seen you pick up a drink in weeks."

  Oh, you poor man. I've been out of control for months.

  "Now that my mom is back, that may change." I rolled my eyes, but Luke took me into his arms.

  "You can come here whenever you want to get away from that old bag."

  "Thanks." I laughed.

  "And while we're on the subject..."

  "What's up, doc?" I looked up into his face, which had grown serious.

  "I'm thinking of moving back to Chicago, and soon."

  "What?" I broke free of his embrace so I could look at him better. I must have looked as stricken as I felt, because he put his hands up as if to calm me down.

  "I want you to come with me." He said in a rush. "I mean, you don't have to decide right now."

  "Oh," I said softly. "How long?"

  "By October, at the latest." He took my hands in his. "I really want to be with you, but my family is in crisis and they need me. And to be honest, I need them, too."

  I nodded in agreement. His family did need him. His parents were way older than my own and needed looking after. He had two sisters, but not only did they have their own families to worry about, one of them just found out she had cancer. I felt really bad for reacting the way I did.

  "I understand," I said. "I promise to deeply consider it."

  "I'm going home in two weeks for a few days. Think you can get away?"

  I considered it a moment. I had plenty of vacation time saved up and even if I didn't I wasn't worried about losing money. Kyle was a problem. He was insanely jealous of Luke.

  "I'll go." I said, deciding that Kyle couldn't always be my first priority.

  Luke grinned and kissed me. I locked my fingers behind his head and pulled him closer. I had told my mom I would be home for dinner, but once Luke slipped his hand under my shirt I didn't feel confident about making it on time.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I did make it to dinner on time. My mom was her usual annoying self, but for the most part I was able to tune her out. My mind was already heavily weighing on Luke's proposal.

  I could decide to go, and it would be the end of the triangle I was in, but the thought of letting Kyle go made my chest ache.

  "You're not paying any attention to anything I'm saying!" My mom's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

  "Sorry. What did you say?"

  She sighed dramatically and rolled her eyes. "I said I wish you would consider coming back with us in the fall. I hate that you're up here all alone."

  "I'm not alone, trust me." If only she really knew how much I was never alone.

  "Yes, I know you have Luke and you've become friendly with the Sterlings, but you ain't got no family here."

  "I have cousins and aunts and uncles."

  "I meant none that you talk to."

  "I talk to Mayson all of the time and sometimes I may run into Tabitha at the store."

  "You know what I mean!" She snapped.

  I put my fork down and looked from her to my dad. "If you guys want me to move out of the house so you can stay down there, just say so."

  Now my dad put down his fork and looked at me. "No one is saying that, Emmy. We would never make you leave here if you didn't want to."

  My mom looked at my dad with a look of surprise. "I am saying that!"

  "Oh for crying out loud," he grumbled, throwing down his napkin. I pushed my plate away and crossed my arms.

  "I'm too damn old and tired to be coming back and forth," my mom pouted. "I would rather use this time to maybe take a cruise or visit my cousins in France."

  "News flash, mother," I said. "You don't have to keep coming back and forth. I can take care of the house just fine."

  "If we didn't come up here, no one would ever see ya!" She said in a high pitched voice. "You never come down to see us or the rest of the family."

  I couldn't argue that point, because she was right. I didn't feel all that close to my siblings or their kids, but it very well could have been my own fault.

  "Fine. If you want me to move out, I will." I got up and carried my plate to the sink and started stuffing the contents into the disposal.

  "You don't have to go anywhere," my dad said to me, and then to my mom "she doesn't have to go anywhere. If you're too tired to come back and forth then stay in Louisiana."

  "What are you going to do if I decide to move further away?" I asked my mom. "Not visit me? Is that all I have to do to be rid of your incessant nagging?"

  She wrinkled her nose at me. "You're a devil of a child."

  "I'm thinking of moving to Chicago," I announced. "With Luke. In October."

  They both looked at me quietly for a moment. My mom tried to be casual, but failed.

  "Will you be moving there as a married woman?"

  "No." I said defiantly.

  "You're gonna live in sin?" She shrieked.

  "Oh stop it!" I yelled. "Don't act like you're all about that because you're not."

  "What are you doing wrong? You should have a marriage proposal by now! Not a wanna-live-together proposal!" She slapped the table.

  "Samantha!" My dad yelled.

  "She's thirty-one years old and isn't even close to bein' married! Maybe you need a makeover. I can send you to New York and you can get your hair done so it won't be so plain."

  "She is fine the way she is." My dad was trying to be patient.

  Ignoring him, my mom continued on. "You can get a new wardrobe - a good one. You can go to the gym and maybe work some of that belly off."

  "Are you fin
ished insulting me yet?" I asked quietly.

  "Is it the sex?" Her eyes widened and even as my dad tried again to stop her mouth, she talked over him. "There are books you can buy and maybe you can be better in bed. Maybe you need all of it - the make-over, the clothes, the gym, and the sex stuff."

  "That's enough!" My dad boomed. My mom jumped and even I was a little startled.

  "Thank god I have some confidence in myself, because if I had to depend on my own mother I would be in sore shape." I said bitterly and stormed out of the kitchen.

  Later that night when I met Kyle for ice-cream, I was still fuming from my mom's idiocy, and at the same time I was trying to think of a way to tell him I was going away with Luke.

  "You're quiet," Kyle said, looking at me carefully. "What's up?"

  "Nothing," I said quickly. I was tapping my spoon on the table instead of digging into my sundae, and under the table my leg bounced.

  "You're quietly freaking out, I can tell. What's going on?"

  "You mean in addition to this four way love story?" I asked, irritated.

  "Forget it." He said, tossing his own spoon down.

  "Don't ask me stupid questions."

  "Whatever. Are we done here?"

  I put my spoon down as a response. Kyle rolled his eyes as he pulled out his wallet. He threw some cash on the table and we left the ice-cream there to melt.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  I don't know what my problem was. I was so distracted by the current events of my life, I could not function correctly, even at work which I tried hard to keep separate from my personal life. That wasn't an easy feat since one of my boyfriends was also my boss and the other one worked a few floors down.

  Monday morning after our failed ice-cream social, I still wasn't really in the mood to deal with Kyle. He wasn't much in the mood to speak to me either judging by his extra dickness. I was even cranky with Luke, but he was too busy to really care. "Go take a nap," he had teased. Yeah, like a nap would solve all of my problems.

  My sulkiness came to a head that Thursday. I had been taking constant bull from my mom all week and even though Kyle attempted to make up with me, I couldn't get my shit together. Luke was giving me a hard time because I still had not asked for time off and our trip to Chicago was less than a week away.

  "Just forget about it," he had said, not really trying hard to hide his anger. We were in the elevator on our way into work.

  "I'm sorry, okay? I've been distracted."

  "Clearly! For once, I want you to focus on me and not…" For a half a second, I thought he was going to say Kyle's name. "Forget it." He glared at me for a moment and then stepped off of the elevator and didn't look back before the doors slid shut.

  I was thinking about that and other things while I stood at the shredder, shredding a pile of documents.

  "What are you doing?" Kyle said, suddenly at my side. "Please tell me that's not the Carlton-Lauglin paperwork."

  "What?" I stared at him. "You told me to get rid of it."

  "I said to get rid of the Happerson documents!" He yelled. "Why would I tell you to destroy documents of our biggest current client?"

  We were in a small room away from the main office, but I was sure someone probably overheard.

  Kyle opened the door to the shredder and picked up a pile of shredded paper and held it before me.

  "This deal was about to close and you have single handedly set it back by weeks, and that's if they don't back out again or try to change shit because there's no paperwork for them to sign tomorrow!"

  "I'm sorry," I said stupidly, but then blinked out of my stupor. "I still have it backed up on a few cds."

  "How long is it going to take you to get all of that shit together again, Emmy?" He threw the shredded paper into a trash can and walked out of the room.

  I took the rest of the file and after a few deep breaths went to my desk. Looking through the cds I realized that it was going to take a while. I delegated my daily responsibilities to a few other people in the office and gathered the cds and the rest of my things. I would get more done in one of the private offices reserved for traveling associates. I wouldn't be disturbed by anyone and I would have more work space.

  After closing the door to the available office I found on the next floor down, I let myself cry for a moment, but only a moment because I had a lot of work to do. I worked through lunch, through the afternoon and evening. Eliza brought me some dinner, but didn't stay and distract me. No one else came by or texted or called, which was sad, but I was too busy to worry about it.

  Somehow I had pushed myself to stay up all night and work. When I finally finished, it was a little after ten in the morning. I looked like hell, I knew it. My dress was wrinkled and looked sloppy on me. My hair was tangled, my eyes were bloodshot, and I needed a shower. I walked into Kyle's office and put the time sensitive documents in front of him.

  He looked at me and then at the stack of files.

  "I'm taking a vacation, starting now." I said tiredly. "Eliza is perfectly capable of doing my job while I am gone."

  He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I agree you need some time off, but what is going on with you?" He was asking as my boss, not my boyfriend.

  "I'm just distracted. I'll feel better when I get back."

  He got up from his desk and closed the door. He came and stood in front of me, but didn't touch me.

  "You worked on that all day and night?" He nodded at the files.

  "Of course I did. It was my fault."

  He reached out and rubbed my cheek with the back of his hand.

  "I am sorry I yelled at you." He said quietly.

  I let him touch me for a moment, but then stepped back toward the door.

  "It's fine. I was wrong. I need to get some sleep."

  "Okay," he was obviously hurt by me pulling away, and it really pulled at my own heart. "Are you just going to hang out with D or at home? Maybe we can do something fun."

  "Actually..." I bit my lip.

  His eyes widened and then narrowed. "You're doing something with Luke?"

  "I'm going to Chicago with him for the week," I said carefully.

  Kyle's face fell into a million pieces. I couldn't stand to look at his face a second longer, so I opened the door and rushed to the elevator. I didn't have time to consider Kyle's feelings or my own, because it was only seconds to Luke's floor.

  I found him in his office, working so diligently he didn't look up when I walked in. He assumed I was his secretary Tracy.

  "Not Tracy," I said, making him look up at me, surprised.

  "Forgive me for saying so, but you look like crap."

  "Forgiven and I agree. I worked all night in a spare office. Listen, I want to apologize," I started, but he cut me off as he stood up and came over to me.

  "No, I should be apologizing to you." He took my hands into his. "I shouldn't have talked to you that way."

  "It's totally understandable. I came here to ask if it's too late to go with you Sunday."

  He grinned and then gave me a slow kiss. When he released me, he said "I get to kiss your morning breath mouth every morning for a week."

  I hugged him tight, but not so far back in my mind I thought about the expression on Kyle's face. I hoped he would be okay. Hell. I hoped I would be okay.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  We arrived in Chicago late in the afternoon. We checked into our hotel before heading to Luke's parent's house for a quiet dinner. I was nervous about meeting his family and kept asking him questions like "What if they don't like my hair? What if they think it's too Jersey?" and "What if they don't like me?"

  "They're going to love you," Luke had promised. "It's not like you to be so nervous."

  "It's not every day I fly half way across the country to meet my boyfriend's family." I sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Maybe I'm just a little wound up from traveling. I get cranky when I travel."

  He leaned over me, kissed my lips and whispered "Let me help y
ou unwind."

  I let him push me back on the bed as he kissed me. He pushed up my skirt and pulled my panties down. I unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down just enough to let his monstrous penis out. I guided him until he was inside of me.

  Nothing like a quickie before we go off to meet the parents.

  Grace Kessler baked an apple pie for my visit. I was flattered and fattened, because I think I ate more pie than anyone else. My mother was the best cook and baker I knew, but even her pie couldn't compete with Mrs. Kessler's pie. I was in pie heaven.

  "You really like that pie," Luke whispered to me while his Mom poured us some coffee.

  "If I had to choose between you and the pie…" I sighed and shook my head.

  "I'd rather you choose pie over me rather than another guy," he said with a smile, but I saw a hint of something else in his eyes I couldn't place. It made me uncomfortable for a little while.

  Luke's mother was disappointed that we would not be staying in her home during our visit. Luke explained that there would be several late nights for us and we didn't want to disturb them, but what he told me was slightly different.

  "I don't want to be quiet when we're doing our thing," he had said, grabbing my ass.

  Luke's sisters immediately treated me as part of the family. Lena, the oldest one, and the sister with cancer, handed me her baby within moments of meeting me.

  "I really gotta pee and it's hard to pee holding a baby." She said and rushed off.

  "She looks so healthy," I whispered to Luke.

  "Yeah, well you know, she won't always look that way."

  Lena had the same light brown hair Luke had, and the same shocking blue eyes. She was a thick woman, boisterous looking and lively, like her personality.

  "You look good with that baby." Luke grinned.

  I forced a smile. The baby, a little girl, wasn't even six months old yet and her mom had cancer. Lena also had two other small children. I felt bad for Lena's family. What would happen to them if she didn't make it? Her husband worked hard to keep them comfortable. How would he work and take care of the family? No wonder Luke felt he needed to be here. I looked over at Luke and felt an overwhelming sense of appreciation for him.