Accidentally on Purpose 6 Book Box Set Read online

  Luke didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day, or the next. He even stood me up for a lunch date. When I went to his office to meet him at a previously agreed upon time, his secretary told me that he went out to lunch with a few coworkers. I tried to play it off like it was my mistake, but it hurt.

  I was so focused on my twisted love life that day that I made a very detrimental mistake at work that could have had some very serious consequences.

  I didn’t know what I had done wrong until the next morning when Kyle blasted into the office after a big meeting he had upstairs. He looked like a charging bull as he crossed the room, and I was the red waving flag. I had not seen him look so angry maybe ever.

  “In my office now!” he shouted at me as he pointed to his door, silencing the entire office.

  I stared up at him, my mouth open and my eyes wide.

  “Now!” he shouted again.

  I should have been afraid, but I was suddenly furious at him for shouting at me like that. He had never shouted at me like that, at least not at work. What happened between us behind closed doors was one thing, but tearing into me like that in the office was unacceptable.

  I got up and stormed past him to his office. He followed me inside, slamming the door behind him. I whirled on him, ready to do some shouting of my own, but he spoke first.

  “You fucked up,” he growled as he tossed a stack of files onto his desk.

  Indignantly, I said, “How?”

  “The presentation you put together was missing the quarterly figures, Emmy! I passed out nine incomplete dossiers to seven angry fucking Germans and the CEO and COO of Sterling! I didn’t even realize it until I was well into the meeting. Imagine my fucking surprise to get to that key part of my presentation and to realize it wasn’t there! Then imagine how I fucking felt when my damn daddy jumped in to smooth things over and make excuses for me!”

  I couldn’t believe it. I just couldn’t believe it. I rarely made mistakes, and they were never huge ones.

  “No, I wouldn’t have done that,” I said pleadingly. “You know I do solid work, Kyle. I wouldn’t have done that.”

  “You did do it!” he yelled. He snatched a file off of the desk and tossed it to me. I just barely caught it. “Open it and see for yourself!”

  I flipped through the document in search of the financial figures that I knew I had put in there. Hadn’t I?

  I had finished putting the dossiers together that morning. I was a little behind, but it was like second nature to me. I was able to zip through the job relatively quickly and efficiently, but…But I was distracted. Very distracted. When I tried to think back, everything seemed murky.

  With a sinking realization, I knew that I did fuck up.

  I looked up slowly and found Kyle pacing the room with his hands locked behind his head.

  “There’s more missing, but the figures are the most important. I could have worked around the other missing items,” he said. He wasn’t shouting anymore, but he was still very, very angry. “If it wasn’t for my dad kissing German arsch and convincing them not to walk the hell out, we would be in very, very deep shit. And of course I had to stand in my dad’s office for forty minutes and get berated for being an incompetent loser.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  He stopped pacing and glared at me. “Don’t be fucking sorry! Fucking fix it!”

  I scurried out of his office without either of us speaking another word.

  In addition to putting the presentation together correctly, I had a ton of other work to do. I knew I would get more done in one of the private offices reserved for traveling associates. I wouldn’t be disturbed by anyone and I would have more workspace.

  After closing the door to the available office I found on the next floor down, I let myself cry for a moment, but only a moment because I had so much to get done. I worked through lunch, through the afternoon and evening. Eliza brought me some dinner, but didn’t stay to distract me. No one else came by or texted or called, which was sad, but I was too busy to worry about it.

  Somehow I had pushed myself to stay up all night and work. When I finally finished, it was a little after ten in the morning. I looked like hell and I knew it. My dress was wrinkled and looked sloppy on me. My hair was tangled, my eyes were bloodshot, and I needed a shower. I walked into Kyle’s office and put the time sensitive documents in front of him.

  He looked at me and then at the stack of files and then back at me. His face was stony at first, but as he took in my disheveled appearance, it softened.

  “Close the door,” he said, his voice low. “Now come here,” he said after I closed it.

  I hesitated. Although I was still very wrong for screwing up, my feelings were still hurt. I don’t think he would have yelled at me so brutally if he didn’t know me on an intimate level.

  Understanding my hesitation, Kyle sighed and sat back in his chair as he studied me.

  “I could have fired you, right on the spot,” he said after a minute. “I should have fired you right on the spot.”

  “Then that’s what you should have done,” I responded quietly. “The extent of my negligence is a firing offense in this company. You should have fired me instead of warping into a blood-thirsty monster.”

  He shook his head slowly. “I can’t fire you, Emmy.”

  “You can’t not fire me because you’re sleeping with me, Kyle. That’s poor decision making. Make all of the poor decisions you like in your personal life, like two-timing your girlfriend, but don’t do it in business.”

  I was annoyed when a small amused smile played on his lips.

  “I can’t fire you because your record is otherwise spotless. I can’t fire you because despite your one huge mistake, you are an asset to me as a businessman and you are an asset to the company. Firing you would be a poor decision.”

  “What does your dad think?”

  Kyle gave a small shrug. “He blames me entirely. Your name didn’t even come up.”

  I felt a small measure of relief that my name wasn’t tarnished by my idiocy, but only a small measure. Part of me was beginning not to care anymore.

  “Well, you still wouldn’t have shouted at me like that if I was anyone else,” I said.

  “You’re right,” he admitted. “Come over here so I can apologize properly.”

  I sighed wearily and remained where I was.

  “I’m taking a vacation, effective immediately,” I said tiredly, changing the subject. “Eliza is perfectly capable of doing my job while I am gone.”

  He seemed disappointed and maybe even a little irritated that I didn’t go falling into his lap.

  “I agree you need some time off, but what is going on with you? You’ve been out of it for days, maybe a couple of weeks.”

  “I’m just distracted. I need a break. I have too much going on. I’ll feel better when I get back.”

  He got up and rounded his desk to stand in front of me.

  “You worked on that all night?” He nodded at the files.

  “Of course I did,” I said. “It was my fault. I started from scratch and triple checked to make sure everything was in there.”

  He reached out and rubbed my cheek with the back of his hand.

  “I am sorry I yelled at you,” he said softly.

  I let him touch me for a moment, but then I stepped back toward the door.

  “I need to get some sleep.”

  “Okay.” He was obviously hurt by me pulling away, and it really pulled at my own heart, but I needed some space from him. “Are you just going to hang out with D or at home? Maybe we can do something fun.”

  “Actually…” I bit my lip.

  His eyes widened and then narrowed. “You’re doing something with Luke?”

  “I’m going to Chicago with him next week,” I said gingerly.

  Kyle’s face fell into a million pieces. I almost went to him, but I managed to lurch out of his office instead. I couldn’t stand to look at his hurt face a second lo
nger.

  Ignoring the many sets of eyes on me, I waited for the elevator, hoping Kyle wouldn’t come out after me. He didn’t.

  I found Luke in his office, working so diligently he didn’t look up when I walked in. He assumed I was his secretary Tracy.

  “Not Tracy,” I said, making him look up at me, surprised.

  He looked me over, much like Kyle had done.

  “Forgive me for saying so, but you look like crap.”

  “Forgiven and I agree. I worked all night in a spare office. Listen, I want to apologize,” I started, but he cut me off as he stood up and came over to me.

  “No, I should be apologizing to you.” He took my hands into his. “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”

  “It’s totally understandable. I came here to ask if it’s too late to go with you Sunday.”

  He grinned and then gave me a slow kiss. When he released me, he said, “I get to kiss your morning breath mouth every morning for a week.”

  I hugged him tight, but not so far back in my mind I thought about the expression on Kyle’s face. I hoped he would be okay. Hell. I hoped I would be okay.

  The night before Luke and I left for Chicago, I met Kyle in the parking lot of a strip mall after I picked up a few things for the trip. We stood a few feet apart, both of us feeling uneasy.

  “Are you all packed?” he had asked with his hands jammed into his pockets.

  “Yeah. I never go anywhere anymore so it took me some time to get it right—at least I hope it’s right.”

  He nodded and stared at the ground between us. I shifted from one foot to the other. I was still on edge after everything that had happened that week.

  “Do you have to go?” he asked.

  “I want to go, Kyle,” I snapped. “You shouldn’t make me feel guilty for it. That’s really not fair.”

  “I’m sorry.” He looked at me apologetically.

  “Maybe we should…” I bit my lip and looked at the customers going in and out of the stores, oblivious to us and our problems. I wished I was oblivious.

  “Maybe we should what?” he pushed. “What?”

  “Maybe we should stop this,” I said quietly, as I cringed. It physically hurt to say it.

  “Is that what you want?”

  “What I want is apparently irrelevant, but maybe this is best.”

  We were quiet for a long time. Finally, he said, “I don’t want to make any decisions right now. I want you to go to Chicago and have a good time.”

  I looked at him with suspicion, but he said it again. “Go, and have a good time. I won’t bother you while you’re there and you don’t have to feel obligated to contact me.”

  After more discussion, I agreed. He kissed me and held me for a long time that night.

  ***

  I was nervous about meeting Luke’s family. I was worried that they would see right through me and know what I was doing to their son and brother. Would they be able to see my guilty, cheating heart? Would they see that for every heartbeat that was meant for Luke, there was an equal amount of beats for another man?

  “They’re going to love you,” Luke had promised, misinterpreting my nervous energy. “It’s not like you to be so nervous.”

  “It’s not every day I fly halfway across the country to meet my boyfriend’s family.” I sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Maybe I’m just a little wound up from traveling. I get cranky when I travel.”

  He leaned over me, kissed my lips, and whispered, “Let me help you unwind.”

  I let him push me back on the bed as he kissed me. He pushed up my skirt and pulled my panties down. I unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down just enough to let his monstrous penis out. I guided him until he was inside of me.

  I used to have sex because I enjoyed it, but more and more I was having sex as a distraction. If I was with Kyle and thinking of Luke, I had sex. If I was with Luke and thinking of Kyle, I had sex. If I was alone and thinking about either one of them, I drank straight tequila from the bottle. Sex with myself didn’t really work out well since I was never able to decide which man to fantasize about.

  After Luke finished distracting me, we cleaned up and made ourselves presentable before heading to his parents’. They lived in the same house that Luke and his sisters were raised in. It was a modest two story home in a quiet suburb. Even though the furniture was probably as old as Luke was, I loved the house. It had been well lived in, and I could sense the familial love and laughter that still silently echoed through the rooms.

  That first night, it was just me and Luke and his parents at dinner. His mother Grace was petite, sweet, and soft spoken. His dad Lawrence was rather boisterous, but he was funny and kind. It was easy to see that Luke’s parents loved and missed him, and I couldn’t miss the pride in his father’s eyes either.

  Grace baked an apple pie for my visit. I was flattered and fattened, because I think I ate more pie than anyone else. My mother was the best cook and baker I knew, but even her pie couldn’t compete with Mrs. Kessler’s pie. I was in pie heaven.

  “You really like that pie,” Luke whispered to me while his Mom poured us some coffee.

  “If I had to choose between you and the pie…” I sighed and shook my head solemnly.

  “I’d rather you choose pie over me rather than another guy,” he joked, but I saw a hint of something else in his eyes I couldn’t place. It made me uncomfortable for a little while.

  The next day I met Luke’s sisters Lena and Lorraine. Both sisters had the same light brown hair as Luke, and the same shockingly blue eyes. I was truly surprised when they not only didn’t see my wicked heart, but proceeded to immediately treat me like I was part of their family. Lena, the sister that was just recently diagnosed with cancer, handed me her baby within moments of meeting me.

  “I really gotta pee and it’s hard to pee holding a baby,” she said and rushed off.

  “She looks so healthy,” I whispered to Luke, as I ran my hand over the baby girl’s soft curls.

  “Yeah, well you know, she won’t always look that way,” he said sadly. “Things will probably get worse before they get better.”

  He shifted his focus from his sister to his niece in my arms.

  “You look good with that baby,” he whispered.

  I forced a smile. The little girl, the youngest of Lena’s three children, wasn’t even six months old yet, and her mom had cancer. I felt terrible for Lena’s family. What would happen to them if she didn’t make it? Her husband worked hard to keep them comfortable. How would he work and take care of the family? Lorraine had a husband and six kids of her own; there would only be so much she could do. No wonder Luke felt he needed to be there.

  I looked over at him as he played with his other niece and nephew and felt an overwhelming sense of appreciation for him. Not that I ever doubted it, but I knew for sure then that he would make a great family man when the time came. His loving attentiveness and protection for his parents, sisters, and their children proved that.

  Despite the health issues and other typical family drama, Luke’s family was great. They were close and kind to one another, and even if they did fight they made up quickly. It made me sad to not have a very close relationship with my own siblings and to have a mother who thought so lowly of me. I almost didn’t want to leave the Kesslers. I hadn’t felt that much at home anywhere in a very long time.

  We didn’t spend our entire time with his family. Luke took me out to his favorite bars and to meet his friends. We went to a White Sox game and visited the Buckingham Fountain at Grant Park. My favorite day was two days before we left. It was storming all day. We stayed in our hotel room, ordered room service, watched television and made out like teenagers.

  I enjoyed myself in Chicago more than I thought I would. More importantly, I fit in well with Luke’s life in Chicago. If I did make the move with him, I knew I would be happy there. His family would become like my own. Eventually, we would marry and have our own kids and live a
very satisfying life. I could almost see it…Almost.

  As much as I wanted that life, on the flight home I couldn’t stop thinking of Kyle. Throughout the week I had a gnawing ache for him, but the ache only intensified the closer we got to home. I had not spoken to him since the night before I left. He was true to his word and did not contact me, and I didn’t contact him either. It wasn’t easy. There were many times I almost texted him and stopped myself before sending the message.

  As soon as Luke dropped me off at home, I texted Kyle. After a brief exchange of texts, I took a quick shower and drove to his apartment. He was waiting for me when I got into the lobby. At first I thought he was just that excited to see me, but the look on his face wasn’t that of excitement. It was apologetic.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked immediately.

  “Jess. She just showed up a few minutes ago. She was supposed to be in the Hamptons.”

  There wasn’t anything I could say or do. She was his true girlfriend. I was just the sidepiece. Resigned and let down, I simply said, “Okay,” and turned away.

  “Wait,” Kyle said, grasping my arm. “I can get rid of her I think or tell her I need to go to the office.”

  I sighed with exasperation and exhaustion before pulling away from him. “I’m really not in the mood for this tonight. I’m going home. I’ll just see you at work on Monday.”

  “Em, wait,” he started, but I cut him off before he could say more.

  “Your girlfriend, your betrothed is upstairs waiting for you,” I said too loudly as I pointed toward the elevators. “I am not going to go hide until you convince her to leave. I am not going to go to the office. I am going to go home, and I will see you on Monday.”

  He dragged his fingers through his dark hair. He looked frustrated and wired. “What about tomorrow?”