Accidentally on Purpose Read online

  Kyle didn't let me fall, he lowered me to the floor. Right outside of the office where I spent countless hours working for my boss, he gave me a bonus I'd never forget.

  Chapter Five

  When I woke up around ten, Kyle was still asleep in bed next to me. I watched him for a moment before I remembered what that usually implicated in a book or movie when a woman did that. While I had an amazing night with Kyle, I was not all doe eyed and dreamy about him.

  I got out of bed, slipped into my robe and went to a window. It was still snowing. There must have been two feet of snow out there. After our romp in the hallway, Kyle and I checked the weather report. We were getting hit with a Nor'easter, four whopping feet of snow. I don't remember ever seeing that much snow in Jersey.

  Kyle was going to stay for the duration of the storm, and maybe a day or so more until the roads were somewhat drivable. Most women I know would be downright giddy about being in my situation. After three times (once more after the weather and milk and cookies) in two days, I guess I could say we were officially sleeping together. If I were normal, I would have been thrilled to be stuck with him, having someone to cuddle with on the couch, having someone to keep me warm as winter pressed against the windows, but I never claimed to be normal.

  I looked at Kyle again, but not with lust. I wondered how either of us were really going to hold up over this weekend. A sensation of being trapped came over me. Trapped in a box with a guy who just yesterday I thought was a huge tool.

  As quietly as I could, I gathered what I needed from my room and crept out. I showered in my parents' bathroom so Kyle wouldn't hear. I made a cup of coffee with my Keurig, slapped some butter and grape jelly on toast and went into the office. I never actually promised not to work. Besides, it made me feel like I was putting necessary space between us.

  By the time Kyle came into the office, I was in full work mode. I barely glanced at him when he sat down opposite of me.

  "I thought you weren't going to work," he said.

  "I never made any promises," I murmured, trying to concentrate on a cluster flip of an upcoming week in March.

  He sat quietly for a moment. When I made no attempts to communicate, he abruptly left the room, slamming the door behind him.

  I saved what I was working on, but didn't immediately get up. I didn't know what he wanted from me. We were just having sex, and just barely. I wasn't going to be all over him or anything, and I didn't exactly feel like having sex again. I didn't understand his attitude.

  With a sigh, I got up and went to find Kyle. He was in the kitchen, making eggs. He didn't look at me, but said "I'm sorry."

  "No big deal." I shrugged and put my coffee mug in the dishwasher.

  "Do you want some eggs?"

  "No, I'm good. I see my brother's clothes fit well." I had given him some of Emmet's clothes he had left behind on his last visit. His brown hair was still wet from the shower.

  "Yeah, they're great. Thank you." He flashed me a smile. "Come here." He motioned.

  I hesitated, but slowly approached. When I was close enough, he leaned over and kissed my forehead, which made my heart skip a beat, which made me mad at my stupid heart for being so stupid.

  Involuntarily, I smiled. Stupid mouth.

  After Kyle ate, he helped me do my Saturday cleaning. I dusted, he vacuumed. I cleaned two bathrooms and he did the powder room on the first floor. He helped me change the sheets on my bed and then we tackled the kitchen, and put in a load of laundry. I panicked when I realized how domestic we were being, how well we worked... together. The cresting moment was when I really thought about the fact that his boxers and my SpongeBob panties were washing in the same confined space, possibly grinding up against each other in their efforts to get clean.

  I excused myself abruptly and locked myself in my personal bathroom, the only one we didn't clean. I sat on the edge of the tub for a long time, thinking.

  I didn't want to feel so comfortable with Kyle. This wasn't something that was going to go beyond this house. I didn't want to feel...let down when it was over. I wanted to feel relieved, to say a good riddance.

  "Are you okay?" He asked softly through the door.

  I opened the door to step out but he was standing there, looking concerned. I didn't want him to look concerned. It made my heart flutter.

  Fuck.

  "I'm fine," I tried to smile, but failed. I couldn't meet his eyes.

  "Em," he sighed my name and I almost died because it sounded similar to when he sighed my name while we were getting it on.

  "This feels a little weird," I admitted. "I hated you yesterday and now my panties are tangled up with your boxers in the wash."

  "That sounds sexy," he grinned.

  I slapped his arm. "I'm serious!"

  "Why don't we just go watch the second Transformers and chill? I will sit in the man-chair and you can sit on the couch."

  I liked that idea. I followed him to the family room. He took my dad's chair and I stretched out on the couch. When the movie was over, I got the clothes from the dryer and folded them at the kitchen table while Kyle started dinner. He was making us BLTs.

  "This is starting to feel a little weird again." I sighed, folding his boxers.

  "I know," he said softly. "But what else should we expect? We're literally trapped here together, and alone. Things have to get done, right? I think it just feels more...domesticated because it's just us."

  "And we slept together." I said a little too loud.

  "Yeah," he glanced wearily at me. "If it weren't for that..."

  I was about to say more, but my cell buzzed in my pocket. "Ick," I said when I saw who was calling. I did not feel like having a conversation with my mother.

  "Emmy! Are you okay?" It was my dad, thankfully, but I could hear my mom's twang in the background.

  "Yeah, dad. What's up?"

  "We tried calling the house countless times. It just rings, and you weren't answering your cell."

  "Hold on. Let me check the phone, dad. I've been here all night and day." Kyle handed me the house phone off of the counter. When I turned it on, I only heard static and no dial tone. "The land line is dead."

  It took me a minute longer to explain to him that I wasn't ignoring their calls to my cell. I had found it between two cushions on the couch while watching the movie. Then he asked me how much snow I had, how I was holding up, and expressed deep regret that I was alone in such a bad storm. He went on about it so long (with my mom in the background yelling about how I wouldn't have this problem if I were married) that I was tempted to tell him Kyle was here. Killing two birds with one stone, I could have also told my mom that I got laid and pacify her also.

  "Dad, I'm thirty years old. I have traveled the world by myself. I can handle a snow storm. Seriously."

  My dad, unlike my mom, did not enjoy pestering me. With a sigh, he told me to be careful and stay prepared for an emergency. My mom got back on the phone, and I thunked my head against the fridge.

  "This is ridiculous," she said. "You need a husband."

  "I don't need a husband."

  "Maybe it's your hair. Men don't like ugly hair styles."

  "My hair isn't ugly," I sighed.

  "Maybe it's the way you dress. Maybe you need to show some cleavage."

  "Trust me, mom, I'm not going to find a decent guy by showing my cleavage."

  Kyle grinned and looked at my chest. I punched him.

  "Listen, I'm hanging up now," I said.

  "You never want to talk to me!"

  "Because I don't like you very much."

  "You're a horrible child."

  "Yep. The bad seed. Bye, Mom."

  I ended the call and sighed in relief.

  "You've got a great relationship with your mom." Kyle laughed.

  "When I'm in the same room with her, I want to cause her physical harm," I admitted.

  He nodded appreciatively. His mom was a trip, too, but for different reasons. My mom talked too much and sa
id whatever she thought, good or bad. Kyle's mom was cold and calculating. I had met her a number of times. She was always polite to me, but stand offish. I thought maybe she thought she was somehow better than me, but I saw that she treated Kyle the same way.

  "My mom..." Kyle started, staring down at his plate. "My mom was awesome when I was really young. She was fun, funny, and so loving, so full of life." He picked at his lettuce. "Over night, it felt like, she changed. She's manic depressive."

  "Oh," I said quietly. What I thought was coldness and indifference was really just numbness. The kind of numbness a person can get from some anti-depressants and anti-psychotic meds.

  "She was doing really well, but sometimes it gets bad."

  "I'm really sorry," I said, and actually put my hand on his. He flipped his hand and laced his fingers through mine.

  I stared at our hands. He stared at me. I wanted to let go, but couldn't make myself do it.

  "Emmy," he said my name in a way that made my stomach flip, but before he could continue, his cell rang.

  It wasn't the first time it rang since he had been here, but he only answered maybe half of the time, and they were always business calls. But this one was different. He looked from the phone to me, me to the phone, and back to me. He let go of my hand and raced out of the room to take the call.

  I heard bits and pieces of the conversation. It was Jess Venner, the elephant in the room, Kyle's girlfriend.

  Chapter Six

  Jessyca Venner was the elephant in my head, too. Every time I would come close to thinking about her, my mind conveniently walked around her, as if she wasn't there. Except for the one mention of her the previous night, we always managed to skip around her. Discussing your current girlfriend while lying in bed with your employee just didn't seem like much fun. Now that the focus was on her, I felt really weird, and I didn't like it.

  I carefully told Kyle I wanted to get a little more work done in the office. It didn't take much convincing because he seemed like he needed the space, too.

  I never claimed to be a saint, but that doesn't excuse my behavior. Jessyca was a world class stuck up bitch, but that didn't make it okay for me to sleep with her boyfriend. Furthermore, sleeping with my boss wasn't going to make our jobs any easier. It was going to be awkward for a while.

  It was three hours later when Kyle came to get me. He told me he had found and prepared everything we would need to dig us out in the morning. He had even shoveled the front steps and part of the walkway. I was relieved to have him here to do all of that "man" stuff for me and said as much.

  "We should get to sleep," he said softly and the words hung in the air. Naturally, when we were having sex we slept in the same bed. Now either of us knew what to do without the sex.

  "I will be up in a few minutes," I said, trying to appear busy.

  He stood in the doorway for a long, silent moment and I could feel his eyes on me. When I didn't look up, he went away.

  I waited almost a half hour before going upstairs. I was leaving the decision up to him. Since he went upstairs ahead of me, he surely would make the decision of where to sleep. If he chose to sleep in another room, I would be okay with that, but if he chose to sleep in my bed, I couldn't even think about what that implied.

  The lights were off in my room when I walked in, but I could vaguely see Kyle's form in my bed. My emotions ranged from relief to nervousness. Instead of questioning it any more, I pulled back the blankets and slid into bed and into his open and waiting arms.

  We were silent for a long time. My head rested on his chest and I listened to his racing heart.

  "Why is your heart beating so fast?" I whispered.

  "I don't know. I guess it's because of you."

  I could have left it at that, but I didn't.

  "Kyle," I said a few minutes later.

  "Hmm."

  "I had a good weekend but..." I patted his arm. "When you go home tomorrow, it's over."

  He took so long to respond, I thought he had fallen asleep.

  "I know," he sighed. "But I don't want it to be."

  We didn't need to say anymore. We both knew why it couldn't continue. He was my boss and he had a serious girlfriend. I didn't let my mind wander to the what-ifs, but I was feeling a little woozy thinking about how we got to this point. A little more than seventy-two hours ago I strongly disliked him, and thought he was truly an asshole who needed a beat down. So quickly my perspective changed, I wondered if I was just a big sucker, but it didn't matter. What's done is done and it was just a weekend fling. We were both obviously lonely and bored and nothing more.

  That thought was actually comforting, and I fell asleep easily.

  Chapter Seven

  We woke up before the sun came up, showered (separately) and ate a quick breakfast of eggs, toast, and coffee. Kyle dressed in some warm clothes of my brother's again and I had found a pair of boots that fit him.

  "I don't think I've ever seen so much snow in my whole life." I said when we stepped outside for the first time.

  "Probably not," Kyle handed me a shovel.

  It took us longer than expected to finish outside. I thought having the snow blower made things faster, but really all it did was save Kyle from killing his back shoveling. After we got inside and got out of our wet clothes, I made us some hot chocolate to take some of the chill out of our bones.

  "I haven't had hot chocolate in years," Kyle smiled at the mug I gave him. He happily poked at the large marshmallow I added.

  "You've been deprived."

  "I have. Thank you." He grinned at me. "The chili smells awesome." He glanced toward the counter where the crock pot was. I had started it as soon as I woke up.

  Kyle cocked his head and looked at me kind of funny.

  "What?" I tugged on my shirt, trying to cover my legs a little. We had literally stripped out of our wet pants, socks, and footwear in the foyer. We were standing in the kitchen in just our shirts and underwear.

  "Nothing." He looked away, and before I could press him further, he started talking about work. We ended up in the office for over an hour.

  Even though we were on a different level of understanding now, office talk always turned Kyle into a dick again. I knew he didn't necessarily mean it, but it was hard for him to stop. I didn't comment on it. Why should I? I knew, that he knew, that I knew he was a dick when it came to work.

  We ate chili in the middle of the afternoon and while Kyle got ready to go, I packed him some chili to take home. He stood in the foyer, hesitant to go, talking about anything and everything. I finally had to cut him off.

  "You should go. We still don't know how bad the roads are and it would be better for you to go in daylight."

  Hesitantly, he nodded in agreement.

  "I will see you at work tomorrow," I said, opening the door for him.

  "Sure." He walked out of the door and didn't look back.

  Chapter Eight

  It's been three weeks since the weekend I was snowed in with Kyle. The first couple of days back to work were more awkward than I think either of us expected. On that first day while I was standing next to him at the copy machine, he whispered that I smelled really good. I had whispered a thank you, but whispering in a corner with him made me feel funny and I walked away before all of my copies were even finished.

  Since I was always last to leave, I found myself alone with him at the end of the night more than once. In the past, neither of us felt the need to fill the silence with useless conversation, but those first couple of nights we both did it. It stopped being awkward when one night as we were filling the silence, Jess stepped off of the elevator. Although we were already a few feet apart, we both backed up and quickly went our separate ways.

  It was another Monday morning, and Kyle was being a dick. He was so wound up, he snapped at anyone and everyone, including me. His bad attitude was putting the entire office on edge, starting a chain reaction of short tempers, making everyone's work suffer. Most of the time I wa
s able to calm the staff, lighten up the mood with rewarding comments about their work, or by offering some kind of incentive for good work done despite their asshole boss.

  Today, however, nothing I said worked. People rolled their eyes or huffed out irritated sighs when I tried to smooth things over. I suppose I couldn't blame them, even with my new insight into the man he was outside of work, my own patience was wearing thin.

  I sat at my desk, staring at his office door, and thinking. I had to do something before the whole damn work week went to hell. I absent mindedly played with a few strands of hair, when a memory flashed in my mind. During our last romp, Kyle kept burying his face in my hair.

  "Your hair always smells so good," he had whispered.

  Later, I asked him "Are you in the habit of smelling my hair when I'm not paying attention?" I had asked as a joke, not prepared for his response.

  He smiled sheepishly. "Maybe I am..."

  I couldn't respond, didn't know what to say to that. I was maybe a little freaked out by such a stalker-like thing, but at the same time, my heart sped up with pleasure.

  "Shit," I said at my desk. I jumped up and walked over to Kyle's office door, running my fingers through my hair as I went. As an afterthought, I rushed back to my desk and grabbed a file off of my desk.

  "What!" He barked when I knocked.

  I let myself in and walked over to his desk. I almost always stood on the opposite side of his desk when I talked to him, but this time, as if I did it all of the time, I stood next to him. I put the folder on his desk and opened it.

  "What is this?" He grumbled.

  "You have to sign these," I snapped, trying to match his tone.

  "Now? Don't you realize how busy I am!"

  "We're all busy!" I leaned over him and started rifling through the papers. I flipped my hair so that it hung over my shoulder, a few inches from his face. I took a painstaking amount of time to search through the paper work, cursing under my breath.